Mothers – as individual entities

Maa, Mom, Mamma, Aai – all short words which a child can utter effortlessly. Her name is formed by a child’s limited ability to speak and brands her forever. The child is her flesh and blood, who is growing into an individual with an independent personality and thought process.

We grow from Foetus to Flesh, with the touch and care of a mother.

A MOTHER’S JOURNEY

A mother’s journey is not easy. It starts just after a mother conceives, and feels a life breathing and kicking inside her womb. One cannot imagine the hard part of the journey, until one has experienced it. A simple girl suddenly faces tremendous change in her body and mindset, after getting pregnant.

And when the child is born in the world, the mother shoulders a major part of the upbringing responsibility. From feeding to changing nappy, playing with the baby, putting it to sleep, washing, bathing, and it goes on and on….

A friend once told me how she started waking up at the slightest sound of her baby’s movement in the crib. She said it was then that she became a mother, after an initial feeling of being burnt out.

Enlightened fathers do help. A few lucky mothers have nannies. But the lion’s share of responsibility is shouldered by a lioness.A child grows into an adult, but the responsibility of a mother does not lessen.

MOTHER AS AN INDIVIDUAL

But should it always be like that? A mother is an individual entity. You love your mother, you care for your mother, then why don’t you care for her being self reliant?

In the middle class families of South Asian countries, most of the mothers are stuck in the kitchen. Tea, breakfast, lunch, evening snack and tea, dinner, dessert, midnight hunger pangs …. a mother keeps catering to all needs. Days, months and years pass, and our mothers are always in the kitchen. We have seen her in the kitchen all our lives, and take it for granted.

This is not “Motherhood”. Motherhood is making the child self dependent, so that the child can walk all his way alone to the world with confidence. And we do have the same responsibility to our mothers. We cannot be selfish and keep her glued to the kitchen and home.

A mother is not a blank piece of paper to write your expectations on.

Mothers have their own identity, individuality. They are excellent home makers. Along with this, mothers also have talent and intelligence beyond home making. Encourage your mother to use that talent to create her own identity so that when she grows old, she does not feel alone or burden to her child, husband or brother. Hold her hand and help her become self reliant. Help her stand in front of the world just like she taught you to stand.

A social media post is doing the rounds of a 91-year old grandmother expressing her wish to earn money. She had never done it before. She started with what she was good at – making a sweet from gram flour, which was appreciated by all, and selling it to the local sweet shop. Today, when she is 95, the enterprise has grown into a full-fledged business where she trains the cooks, and ensures quality and timely delivery.

This is not to say that women can only cook. They can encash any skill or ability they possess, or just carve out a personality with social work. It is about blossoming as an individual, if it has not been done before.

A movie has been made, based on a real story about grandmothers who excelled in sharp-shooting, and are now professionals participating in championship events.

Here are the real women and the actors who played the role.

Because, mothers have their own identity. They feel pain and happiness, they have their dreams and ambitions. They were just like you, when they entered the world with dreams of a larger existence than motherhood.

Mothers are not only mothers, they are individuals.

Author: Fatima Tuz Zohra